10 Lifesaving Principles for Women in Difficult Marriages
If you are a Christian woman in a difficult marriage, you are wondering what you can do to make things better. Without effective tools, you probably react in ways that actually make your problems worse. You may try to force change through anger, threats, and control. You may deny, pretend, fix, cover up, enable, tolerate, and appease.This book offers Christian marriage advice through 10 Lifesaving Principles based on scriptural truths that will enable you to respond differently and effectively to the complex situations that you face.
Here are the 10 Lifesaving Principles:
- Understand Scriptural Truths. Shows you what the Bible really says about submission, rights, respect, gentleness, perseverance, forgiveness, and keeping the peace.
- Reach Out. Encourages you to reach out for support in a variety of ways including counseling, support groups, friends, and family and by becoming informed about the specific problems you are dealing with.
- Change Yourself, Not Him. Provides ideas for how you can take the focus off of changing your husband and put it onto changing yourself.
- Detach with Love. Explains how you can detach from your husband’s anger, moods, threats, arguments, blame, and crises, as well as how to allow him to be responsible for his own choices.
- Nurture Yourself. Suggests ideas for how you can take care of your emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental needs.
- Face Your Fears. Describes specific fears women in difficult marriages deal with and how you can face your fears and do the right thing in spite of them.
- Speak the Truth in Love. Helps you know your own truth and then speak it to your husband in love.
- Set Boundaries. Defines boundaries, explains how to develop them, and shows how to set them in the midst of your difficult marriage.
- Make Your Children a Priority. Gives ideas on how you can take care of your children in the midst of the dysfunction, as well as how to handle discipline disagreements with your husband.
- Enter God’s Rest. Shows you how to enter God’s rest by surrendering the things you cannot change.
“If you have struggled in a difficult marriage or if you work with women who do, this book is for you! Karla Downing has provided us with a resource that gives answers to Christian women who are sometimes caught between revealing their gut-wrenching marriage issues and protecting the man they married from public exposure. Karla defines the problems, provides biblical and practical advice, and gives women action steps for making informed choices that are Christ-honoring. This book belongs in the library of every Christian leader.”
Speaker and Author of “Between a Rock and a Grace Place” and “When I Lay My Isaac Down,” Founder of Speak Up Speaker Services and Speak Up for Hope
“The principles in this book are truly lifesaving—a huge dose of wisdom.”
Author of “Every Man’s Battle” and “Every Woman’s Desire,” Host of a syndicated radio program and Founder of New Life Clinics
“Women in difficult marriages often react in unhealthy, unproductive ways. In this practical ‘been there, felt that’ guide, Downing gives 10 Principles that can help women regain their dignity and self-respect. By following these principles, women will learn how to stop being victims of their husbands’ behavior. They’ll discover ways to nurture themselves, protect their children, and effect change. As the title suggests, 10 Lifesaving Principles for Women in Difficult Marriages may indeed be the catalyst for saving lives and relationships headed for disaster.”
Book review in the CBA Marketplace, September 2003
“Karla’s book is full of truths, practical solutions, and common sense about difficult marriages. She understands what I am going through because she has been there. Other marriage books assume that both people are healthy and working on the marriage, which meant I felt more discouraged after reading those books. This book offers real Christian marriage help that works for women in difficult marriages whose husbands are often not willing to work on the problems.”
“I loved this book and couldn’t put it down. I now understand that my husband has to deal with his problems; I can’t fix them for him. I also learned that it is good and necessary for me to take care of my children and myself. I have more time in my day to do just that, because I am not worried about what I am going to do about him!”
“This book can be a life changer. It gives real Christian marriage advice for real situations. It helped me see that my marriage was not salvageable, but my friends’ marriages have either been saved or improved. I am thankful to have read this book and highly recommend it to others.”