A reason is not an excuse. When people act in ways that we wouldn’t, we are often perplexed especially when they are doing things that are unhealthy or hurtful to themselves, others, or us. We seek to understand why, but we also often seek to excuse.

When people are immature, addicted, irresponsible, abusive, dependent, hurtful, self-centered, depressed, angry, aggressive, lazy, passive, dysfunctional or difficult, we can label it for what it is. Addicts have addictive tendencies. People with mental illnesses struggle more than others do with mental stability, insight, and moods. Irresponsible people may not have been taught to be responsible. People may not have had the same opportunities others have had. Life is more difficult for some than some others. Abused people often abuse others. People act like they were taught. Adult children of dysfunctional families create their own dysfunctional families. Tragic events and difficult circumstances affect people long after they are over.

All of that is true. And many of those people make excuses for their bad choices: They can’t help it. Life is too hard. They were born that way. They are too broken. It is someone else’s fault (maybe yours). It is good to understand the burdens that people struggle with, to offer compassion, and to lighten the burdens when it is appropriate. But it isn’t good to excuse wrong behavior.

People are responsible to get the help they need in order to do what is right. People are responsible to get the wisdom and understanding needed to make changes. Each of us is given abilities and options and we are responsible to take advantage of them. God’s judgment will take into account what people are capable of, but it won’t give them an excuse for not doing anything about it.

Seek to understand the reason people in your life are like they are. Learn about the problems they struggle with. Take the information into consideration, but remember a reason is not an excuse for inappropriate behavior when they have other options.

By Karla Downing

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,

Help me to understand the burdens that others carry, but help me also to remember that no one can excuse their actions; each is still responsible for carrying his/her own load by getting help to do what is right.

Relationship Devotional Challenge

• Understand the reason other people do what they do; offer compassion but not an excuse.

Scripture Meditation

 
Proverbs 19:3

“A man’s own folly ruins his life, yet his heart rages against the Lord” (NIV).

Galatians 6:2, 5

“Carry each other’s burdens….For each one should carry his own load” (NIV).