Many of us believe we are indispensable. We think we have to keep everything going, and without our efforts, things will fall apart and no one will step up to fill in. So we make ourselves available for everyone and everything, believing we have no other choice.

Relationships have complementary roles. Only so much emotion can be contained, so when one person has strong emotions, the other is less emotional. If the person with the strong emotions shows less, the other person will typically show more. If one person is strong and harsh, the other will be more gentle and lenient. If one person does all the work, then it is done and there is nothing left to do. If that person creates a void by doing less, it may be painful for a while, but eventually, someone will usually step up to fill the void.

There may be some truth to the fact that you can’t depend on your spouse or your children and that they do little to help with all the many things that have to be done. Their inaction only reinforces the fact that you believe you have to do everything. Things might not be done as well if you stop doing them, but the essential things will get done eventually. It may seem scary to face the fact that you aren’t indispensible, but it is freeing. If you can step back and do less, you’ll have options that aren’t currently available to you. You will be able to do more of what you want to do.

If you typically volunteer because no one else will, create a void. Don’t volunteer. If you wait long enough, someone else will step up, and you won’t have to. Life will go on if you aren’t doing everything. People will have to figure out how to survive and get their needs met. If you can accept the fact that you are dispensable, you won’t feel so compelled to do everything. You will be able to sit back and let things happen without feeling as if you have to jump in and fix everything.
Use wisdom. Do what you have to do to take care of the things you are responsible for, but be open to the idea that you aren’t indispensable. Others might step up if you step down.

By Karla Downing
 

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,

Help me recognize that people are more capable than I think they are and that I am not indispensable. Help me to be willing to let go and let others have the opportunity to step up to fill the void.
 

Relationship Devotional Challenge

• What are you doing too much of?
• Plan to stop doing some of it and see what happens.

Scripture Meditation

 
Ecclesiastes 7:18

“Whoever fears God will avoid all extremes” (NIV).

Galatians 6:5

“Each one should carry their own load” (NIV).