When an emergency happens, emergency responders assess the situation when they arrive on the scene before doing anything else. They check to see if there is danger for themselves and others; they check to see what is needed to manage the situation; they check to see who is involved and who needs help and, as a result, prioritize what they need to do first.  By assessing the situation before acting, they insure that their response is the most effective and targeted and that it is not doomed by false assumptions and wrong information.

In relationships, we also need to assess the situation; yet, we often don’t. Instead, we react and we assume. We base our actions on incorrect assumptions and selective information. We react to our emotions which are often driven by fear, anger, guilt, and panic. As a result, we make mistakes.

We don’t really know what others are thinking or why they do what they do. We need to ask questions to find out. We need to allow others to explain themselves and their actions. We need to be open to hearing things that differ from what we believe. When you want to understand someone, you have to go directly to the source.

We need to pay attention to ourselves too. Our emotions give us information about what is going on with us and what we need. Our thoughts give us clues into why we are making the particular choices that we are making. Our bodies often tell us whether or not something is good for us. We need to take the time to attend to all these factors so our decisions will be good for us.

We need to slow down, gather information, and take the time to accurately assess the situation in order to make a plan based on all the facts rather than just some of them. We need to consider the past and what has happened before so we can learn from the things that have worked and haven’t worked. We need to pay attention to our emotions and then choose how we want to act on them. We need to consider what we learn from others after checking with them. Reacting too quickly will only mean that we will make bad choices and do things that we regret.

By Karla Downing

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,

Help me to assess the situation before I react to save myself from making wrong decisions based on inaccurate information and emotional reactivity.

Relationship Devotional Challenge

• Instead of reacting too quickly to a problem, assess the situation by asking questions, considering your needs, thoughts, and emotions, reviewing what has and hasn’t worked in the past, and determining what the best course of action is for all concerned.

Scripture Meditation

 
Proverbs 22:3
“The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty” (NIV).