Boundaries aren’t always easy to figure out because there are so many issues to deal with in relationships. The purpose of your boundaries is to take care of yourself, influence the other person for good, and to refuse to enable. A helpful measure to use is to make sure that what you are doing is not hurting you and not hurting the other person.

Answer the following five questions to see if your boundaries meet those criteria:

• Are your boundaries helping you take care of yourself?

The main purpose of your boundaries is to protect yourself and to help you be a good steward of what God has given you.

• Are your boundaries influencing the other person for good?

Your boundaries should encourage the other person to make wise choices. They shouldn’t be so harsh and rigid that they are impossible for the other person to respect or that they cause discouragement and hopelessness.

• Are your boundaries keeping you from enabling?

Each person is responsible for the consequences of their actions and needs to learn whatever lessons those consequences are teaching. You enable when you step in to prevent the person from experiencing those consequences.

• Are your boundaries keeping you from getting hurt?

When you are deciding what to do and not to do for other people, one good measure to use is whether your decision will hurt yourself financially, emotionally, relationally, or physically. If it does, don’t do it.

• Are your boundaries keeping other people from getting hurt?

Boundaries are needed when someone is being hurt or could be hurt by another person’s actions or by his/her own actions.

Setting boundaries isn’t always an easy thing to do; however, they are necessary and right for you and the other person when they are done in a way that benefits both people.

By Karla Downing

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,

Help me to discern clearly what my boundaries should be in my relationships so I can make a stand for what is right and good for me and other people.

Relationship Devotional Challenge

• Identify a difficult relationship or situation that you need to set boundaries in.
• Go through the list and answer the questions about your boundary.
• Decide what your boundary should be.

Scripture Meditation

 
Romans 12: 21
 
“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (NIV).

Romans 13:9b-10

“‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.” (NIV)

Galatians 6:5

“For each one should carry his own load” (NIV).