Choices: the word itself has power. It means that you can exercise the power to choose. If your first response is to say you don’t because of this or that, then you have given away your power over your own life.

When you know that you have options in how you respond to whatever life brings your way, you will feel less victimized by the things that happen. Knowing you have choices also helps you to take responsibility for your behavior, thoughts, feelings, actions, inactions, and reactions.

You may feel that your choices are limited because they are defined by others’ choices. They are limited in the sense that other people have the power to make their own choices that affect your life. Yet they aren’t limited because you have the right to decide how to respond and how to take care of yourself given the things that others do. This reminds you that you are not a victim of other people’s choices—you are only affected by them.

In difficult relationships, other people do things that cause us pain. They hurt us, hurt themselves, and hurt others. They make bad choices. They refuse to hear the truth. They don’t want to change. Unfortunately, we don’t have the choice of forcing them to change, but we always have the choice of how to live our lives in spite of what they do or don’t do. We can choose to set boundaries, pursue our interests, enjoy our lives, speak our truth, detach with love, face our fears, make healthy choices, nurture ourselves, commit ourselves to our own recovery, and change our attitudes and thoughts, among other things.

There are times that you may feel like you don’t have a choice in how you are reacting. This is most often when you are in emotional pain or in a crisis. The pain or crisis blinds you momentarily to your options. Remind yourself that when you are in a better state of mind that you will be able to assess what your other options are.

Since each of us is free to make our own choices, it means that we are each responsible for them. You are responsible for your choices and other people are responsible for theirs. That is empowering too!

By Karla Downing

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,

Help me to exercise the power to choose how I live my life regardless of what other people do or don’t do.

Relationship Devotional Challenge

• Think of one difficult situation in your life that you are struggling with.
• List several options that you have.
• Choose one and commit to doing it.

Scripture Meditation

 
Joshua 24:15

“Choose for yourself this day whom you will serve” (NIV).

God gives each of us free will. Use yours to choose how you want to you’re your life regardless of how other people live theirs.