Those of us that struggle with how much to give in our relationships often have a common misunderstanding about giving. We believe we should take care of others before we take care of ourselves. When we do this, we push ourselves past our limit and wear ourselves out. We then get resentful toward others for taking so much from us, and then we serve out of compulsion. This sets up a continual cycle where we find ourselves drained dry emotionally, spiritually, relationally, mentally, and physically. Is this the way God wants us to give?

Picture a three-tiered water fountain. The top tier is you. The second tier is your close relationships including family and close friends. The third tier contains people outside your family and inner circle. These include people you minister to, work with, and those you know as acquaintances. A fountain requires water. A three-tiered fountain fills at the top first which then overflows and fills the second tier. The second tier overflows and fills the third tier. If the water dries up in the top tier, it dries up in the lower tiers too because there is no excess water overflowing into it.

You can’t give out of a lack of resources. You can only give what you have to give. You have to receive first in order to give. This is easily understood with money. If someone needs money and you don’t have any, you can’t give money. It is the same with your time, emotions, and energy. You can only really give what you have. You must first have time and emotional energy before you can give it away.

God will give you what you need first. When he gives you extra, you can give some of that extra to other people in the order that they are truly important and deserving of your energy and resources. Giving in God’s kingdom is out of choice, not out of compulsion. Healthy giving doesn’t drain you dry; it energizes you because you know you are making good choices, and God is refilling you as you give.

By Karla Downing

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,

Help me clearly see how I can apply the principle of the water fountain to my life. Help me recognize that I need to be filled first before I try to bring water to other people.

Relationship Devotional Challenge

• Are you burned out by giving in any area of your life?
• If you are, consider how you can take care of yourself first so you will be refreshed and able to give out of your abundance in the areas you choose to give.

Scripture Meditation

 
2 Corinthians 8:6-8

“Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work” (NIV).