Your heart is the essence of who you are. It is that part of you that can be crushed by the abuse, neglect, criticism, and rejection of others, if you are not careful.

When you are hurt by the actions of others, you feel pain because you have been wounded. That wound has the ability to cause damage and scarring to your heart which affects the way you respond to life. It has the ability to make you skip a beat, or beat too fast, or even have a heart attack. The scars can rob you of your joy, demoralize you, change the way you view yourself, and affect the way you respond to life and relationships.

Because of the importance of your heart, you need to guard it; yet guarding your heart in relationships is a matter of walking a fine line. You want to protect it but not necessarily cut yourself off completely from the person, especially if you are in a relationship where you want or need to stay engaged and committed.

Let’s look at how you can guard your heart and still keep it open to someone who is capable of hurting you.

Trust. When someone repeatedly mistreats you, lies to you, or lets you down, you don’t have to offer blind trust. In fact, you shouldn’t trust again until the person reestablishes a track record of being a trustworthy person that you can open your heart to. You can choose when to trust and what verification you need.

Detach. When someone is doing things to hurt you, you need to detach by not taking the words and actions personally. You do this by recognizing that the person has problems (probably from wounds and scars from others, because hurt people hurt people) and as a result, is saying and doing things that don’t accurately reflect who you are and aren’t true. You don’t take them to heart by letting them go and replacing them with the truth.

Protect. You protect yourself by recognizing how the person hurts you and then putting up boundaries. You don’t engage in conversations where you are put down and yelled at. You don’t reveal information that can be used against you. You don’t share truths about yourself that are precious with someone who doesn’t value them. As much as possible, you simply don’t put yourself in situations where you can be hurt.

You guard your heart by reestablishing trust slowly, detaching from things that aren’t true and by protecting yourself with boundaries. If you don’t guard your heart with people who are willing to hurt you, you may lose your heart.

By Karla Downing

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,

Help me guard my heart from people who would hurt me so that I won’t be wounded and scarred.

Relationship Devotional Challenge

•  Are you guarding your heart?

Scripture Meditation

 
Proverbs 4:23

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (NIV).

Matthew 7:6

“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces” (NIV).