One of my readers told me this story: “I’ve been teaching my kids about detaching. The other day the kids were bickering about what the other should do and my daughter said, ‘Detach, Ian’ to which he replied, ‘I don’t detach, I hang on.’”

Such simple yet profound wisdom out of the mouths of babes: when we aren’t detaching, we are hanging on. Imagine yourself at the end of a rope pulling as hard as you can with the other person pulling in the other direction, resisting everything you are doing. As long as you are holding on to the rope, you are attached to the person on the other end with all your energy poured into pulling and resisting.

What do we hang on to?

• Our hopes and dreams of how we want things to be.
• Our desires and goals for other people.
• Our fears and “what if?”s in case others make bad choices.
• Our codependent enabling and fixing.
• Our old behaviors of controlling, pushing, and reacting.

When you detach, instead of hanging on, you let go. You drop the rope. You are then free to do whatever you want. You have choices. You can live your life.

You accept what is and then decide how you want to respond to it.

You accept that other people don’t have to live according to your desires and goals.

You make your choices on what you know is right and not on your fears.

You stop enabling and fixing; instead, you let people suffer the consequences of their choices.

You give up controlling, pushing, and reacting; instead you choose how you want to act and let others make their own choices.

Are you tired? Let go of the rope.

By Karla Downing

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,

Help me to stop hanging on and instead to detach by letting go.

Relationship Devotional Challenge

•  What are you hanging on to?

Scripture Meditation

 
Hebrews 12:1b

“Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us” (NIV).