Christians often talk about laying down your rights in relationships. The implication is that it is required and Christ-like. The truth is that it is optional. There are times that it is the right thing to do and times when it is the wrong thing to do.

A “right” is something that you are entitled to by law or by nature. In the United States, you have a right to a fair trial, to free speech, and to not be searched without a warrant. In relationships, you have a right to have a voice, to say no, and to be respected. It is rarely if ever suggested that we lay down our legal rights with authorities, but it is frequently suggested that we lay down our relationship rights.

The Apostle Paul stood up for his right to not be held in prison as a Roman citizen and was released multiple times (Acts 16:37-39). He voluntarily gave up his right to be financially supported by the church while he ministered to them because he was concerned it might hurt his witness (1 Cor. 9:1-19). He suggested that believers not sue each other in the secular courts because it was a bad witness, but rather that they would resolve their differences by going to someone in the church (1 Cor. 6:1-8). Jesus gave up his right not to die because he knew God had a greater purpose in mind (John 10:17-18). Scripture tells us to treat each other with respect and to speak up when people do things that are harmful to themselves and others. We are to confront and exhort in love by speaking the truth to set a standard of righteousness.

Each of these examples have something in common: They all are concerned with a person’s witness of the gospel. The question you need to ask yourself is this: How would laying down my rights hinder or help the witness of my faith? If it helps, lay them down; if it doesn’t, stand up for them. When you make a stand for righteousness or rightness, you are living in a way that makes your values line up with your actions which testifies that your faith is real. By allowing someone to mistreat you, you are enabling them to sin and harm themselves by hurting the relationship.

Laying down your rights is sometimes in the other person’s best interest and standing up for your rights is sometimes in the other person’s best interest. It is in a person’s best interest for you to set a standard for righteousness in what you tolerate and condone. It is also in their best interest that your witness be strong.

By Karla Downing

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,

Help me to use wisdom in deciding when to lay down my rights and when to stand up for my rights.

Relationship Devotional Challenge

•  The next time you need to decide whether or not to lay down your rights, ask yourself this question: How would laying down my rights hinder or help the witness of my faith?

Scripture Meditation

 

1 Corinthians 9:12

“If others have this right of support from you, shouldn’t we have it all the more? But we did not use this right. On the contrary, we put up with anything rather than hinder the gospel of Christ” (NIV).

It was the Apostle Paul’s choice whether or not to lay down his rights. You also have that choice.