A friend of mine complained that her college-aged daughter didn’t act responsibly while in Hawaii on her parent-paid vacation. The expectation was that she would call home regularly and not get into trouble. She didn’t call home and she got into trouble. Her parents were disappointed, shocked, upset, and angry that they had given her the trip.

The real problem was the parents’ expectation. They wanted to give their daughter a graduation trip, but they did it by denying what they knew to be true about their daughter. They so desperately wanted her to act the way they wanted her to act that they denied what they knew to be true. Had they faced the truth, they could have decided if they wanted to give her the trip anyway, knowing she would probably do the same things over there as she did at home. They could have spared themselves the betrayal, anger, shock, and disappointment.

Denial is like a cushion that softens the landing when we fall. We can’t take the impact of the truth, so we cushion ourselves from having to face the truth by believing something else. Denial is protective. When we first find out something that is too painful for us, we deny it is true. This is okay for a short time. We have to allow ourselves time to adjust. It is similar to the body going into shock to avoid feeling pain when it is first injured. But in order to heal, you eventually have to feel the pain of facing the truth.

When we refuse to accept what we know to be true, we set up ourselves and others to be disappointed and angry. There is a price to pay for staying in denial. Here are four steps to letting go of denial:

•   Identify why the issue is difficult to face. Are you afraid, angry, blaming yourself, embarrassed, or feeling out of control? Deal with the underlying emotion.
•   Expose yourself to the facts so you will have to see all the evidence.
•   Ask God to show you what you need revealed in order to accept the truth.
•   The principle that the truth will set you free, even though right now it feels like the opposite.

By Karla Downing

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,

Help me to have the courage to let go of denial. Show me what I need to know in order to embrace the truth.

Relationship Devotional Challenge

•   Let go of your denial by using these four steps.

Scripture Meditation

 
John 8:32 

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (NIV).