I was skiing this weekend in the local mountains. I haven’t done much skiing over the years for different reasons and have started to do a little in the past few years. However, I haven’t gone much to my local mountains, thinking that it is too crowded and too far to drive without spending the night. Riding up on the chairlift, I noticed myself having the following conversation in my head: You should have been coming here all along. Think of how many times you could have skied and didn’t. You need to come more often in the future. You could come up during the week for even a day. You wouldn’t even have to get up at the crack of dawn because skiing half day is just fine and you could drive home afterwards. After all, it’s only a two-hour drive. You need to be better at making plans to come.

Then I realized something: I wasn’t enjoying being there today. I was so busy thinking about the past and the future that I forgot to be in the present. And then it I occurred to me that I also do the same thing in my relationships. I review the past by listing all the things I regret and wish had been different. Then I project into the future by worrying about the things that could happen. The only thing I don’t do is fully participate and experience the relationship as it is now.

I know I am not the only one who does this. All of us have a tendency to focus on past regrets and future worries. All of us have trouble taking things as they are today and fully accepting and enjoying the moment. We don’t have control of either the past or future, but we do have the ability to control our involvement in the here and now. Of course, we can acknowledge our past regrets and make amends, if we need to, and we can also do our best to responsibly prepare for the future. But if we aren’t careful, regrets about the past and fears about the future will rob us of the ability to maximize our today.

By Karla Downing

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,

Help me let go of my regrets about the past and my fears about the future. Help me live freely and fully in the only thing I have any control over—today.

Relationship Devotional Challenge

• If you have regrets about the past, admit them to yourself, God, and the person (if appropriate) and then let them go.
• If you have fears about the future, turn them over to God and trust him with your future and the other person’s future.
• Live today. Be fully present in each moment. Enjoy your relationships and life for what they are and let it be enough.

Scripture Meditation

 
Matthew 6:34

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (NIV).

Philippians 3:13

“Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (NIV).