The Bible is very clear in telling us to love our enemies. An enemy is someone who is fighting against you. A family member can feel like your enemy when he/she is bringing pain and dysfunction into your life, your family’s life, or his/her own life and fighting against your attempts to make things right.
So what does it really mean to love your difficult family members who feel like your enemies?

The opposite of love is hate. If you hate someone it means you have strong negative emotions toward them and usually want to see the person suffer. This then leads to a desire to seek revenge by retaliation. It would also mean that you would likely treat the person with contempt, disgust, anger, and disrespect that flow from your hatred.

As God does, you can hate things that are destructive, hurtful, sinful, and unjust. It is natural to feel very strong emotions toward someone who is doing these things, but it is your responsibility to channel these emotions into behavior that can be described as loving.

When you respond to people who mistreat you by mistreating them in return, you become a part of the problem. They can then easily blame their mistreatment of you on you. Yet if you treat them with love, kindness, and respect, it opens the door for the Holy Spirit to convict them.

This doesn’t mean you don’t set boundaries in the relationship. People who can walk all over you won’t respect you and will continue to mistreat you out of that disrespect. Jesus treated his enemies with love but also spoke the truth, protected himself, and confronted sin. You can set boundaries in a loving and firm way that respects both people.

When your enemies fall, you are not supposed to gloat. You delight not in their demise, but in their healing and restoration, and if it takes suffering consequences to bring them to that point, then you rejoice in those consequences.
God is just. He delights in truth, righteousness, and justice. He is the ultimate Judge who will require all men to give an accounting of every word and action, and He will reward them accordingly.

Your job is to figure out how to treat those who are bringing destruction into your life with love while saying no to the sin.

By Karla Downing

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,

Help me love my enemies. Let your love flow through me when mine is inadequate. Bring righteousness and justice into my relationships.

Relationship Devotional Challenge

 
Check your attitude toward the difficult people in your life:

• Are you treating them with love?
• Do you desire their demise or restoration?

Scripture Meditation

 
Proverbs 24:17

“Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice, or the Lord will see and disapprove and turn his wrath away from him” (NIV).

Romans 12:14, 17-21

“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (NIV).