This woman had a decision to make:

My husband wants to bring his adult son to my three-year-old son’s birthday party. My son has never met his half brother and I don’t think this is an appropriate time for them to meet. I want to say no, but if I do, it will be a huge deal with all kinds of ramifications, and I don’t know if I want to go through all that. Do I stand up for my principles or just let it go?

When you have to do something you don’t want to do and saying no would cause a huge reaction from other people, sometimes you choose to do it in order to avoid the negative energy you would have to expend. This is always your choice. You can decide what is best for you given the circumstances. It isn’t people pleasing; it is using wisdom and discernment to control what comes into your life and not expending negative energy when you don’t have to.

Negative energy is what you expend when you have to deal with drama, dysfunction, and reactivity. It drains you and makes you less able to do the things you want and need to do. You can always look at the circumstances realistically and choose whether it is worth the fight. Saying no, confronting an issue, and setting a boundary challenge the status quo which can set off a backlash from other people. It isn’t always worth confronting an issue, especially when it won’t do any good because you have said it before, the person won’t listen, and nothing will change anyway.

When you are deciding whether or not to do something that will cause turmoil for you, look at the benefits versus the drawbacks. What liabilities will you incur? What good will come from each of your choices? Is this something you know you need to take a stand on to maintain your self-respect and keep your conscience clean? Or, is this something that you can let go of and feel good about your choice?

It is your life. You have the right to choose what to do and what not to do. You only have a certain amount of time, energy, and resources. You are the one who controls your choices. There is nothing wrong with recognizing the reality of the circumstances that you live in and deciding how to deal with them in the wisest way.

By Karla Downing

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,

Help me use wisdom in deciding how to handle the many dilemmas in my life so I don’t drain my life resources by expending my energy negatively.

Relationship Devotional Challenge

• Before you take an action that will cause a backlash, ask yourself if the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

Scripture Meditation

 
Proverbs 26:4-5

“Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes” (NIV).

You can choose how you want to respond to difficult people and circumstances by taking all aspects into consideration.