None of us want difficult relationships. We desire peace, love, understanding, and unity. We want our loved ones to make choices that are good for them and good for us. We want life to be easy for them and for us. We want to be happy, and we want our loved ones to be happy.

The cause of difficult relationships is sin. Before Adam and Eve sinned, they enjoyed unbroken fellowship with God and each other. After they sinned, their relationship with God and each other was filled with competition, distrust, blame, and a struggle for power and control. They now had to work on a relationship that used to be easy.

When we have difficulties in our lives, we feel better when we know our struggles have a purpose. In that case, it is helpful to know that difficult relationships do serve a valuable purpose in our lives. They enable us to:

Deal with unfinished business. Our past relationships leave us wounded. Current relationships open those wounds and offer us an opportunity to react differently and heal—even if they bring us pain.

Change us and mold us into the image of Christ. God uses everything in our lives to sanctify us. Responding to difficult relationships offers us the opportunity to grow in ways that healthy relationships don’t.

Know what is in our hearts. The way we respond to difficult people gives us an opportunity to learn about ourselves.

Learn what is in the heart of the other person. The struggles of others show us what is going on with them. It allows us to see not only who they are today, but also what has wounded them in the past.

Make us strong. We become stronger and better people as a result of our trials. Difficult relationships cause us to grow deeper roots.

Comfort us so we can comfort others. The best person to comfort another person is someone who has gone through the same thing. Using our difficult relationship experiences to reach out to others gives them meaning.

Clarify your boundaries. Difficult people help us to develop more refined and clear boundaries. We learn about what is okay and not okay for us.

Draw us closer to the Lord. Everything we go through can be used to draw us closer to the Lord as we depend on him for the things that others are unable to give us.

For the other person to grow and change. As a result of being in a relationship with us, the other person is a different person. We are a part of the relationship and we affect the other person—hopefully for their good.

Draw the other person closer to the Lord. God uses everything in the lives of other people too, even when it isn’t what we would choose for them. He is working in them because he loves them more than we do.

As you can see, even your difficult relationships have a divine purpose in your life!

By Karla Downing

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,

Comfort me in the midst of my difficult relationships with the understanding that you are using them for my good, others’ good, and your glory.

Relationship Devotional Challenge

• Change your perspective on your difficult relationships. Instead of seeing them as a hindrance, view them as a catalyst for God fulfilling his purpose in your life.

Scripture Meditation

 
Proverbs 27:17

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (NIV).

2 Peter 1:5-8

“Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ” (NIV).