When we have been in difficult relationships, we get into a habit of ignoring our needs and not taking care of ourselves. We habitually think we need to deprive ourselves to take care of other people. We get into the habit of pushing ourselves harder and harder, all the while ignoring what we need in order to nurture ourselves and live our lives.

We can even get into the habit of saying “no” to things that are good for us. Analyze what you do when you get an opportunity to do something to take care of yourself.

• Do you tell yourself that you don’t matter?
• Do you tell yourself that you shouldn’t be selfish?
• Do you tell yourself that you don’t deserve to waste resources and time on frivolous things?
• Do you tell yourself that you will do the things you want to do later when someone or something is fixed?

All of these are indications that you are not taking care of yourself. Start saying “yes” to things that are good for you. Begin living your life today, in spite of what someone else is doing or not doing. Embrace the good, believing you deserve good things. Ask yourself what makes you thrive and then do whatever part of it you can. Ask yourself what makes you happy, and then do it as long as it doesn’t hurt someone else or is immoral. Ask yourself what stirs your passion and makes you feel alive. God has given gifts to each of us, along with the responsibility to use them. Using your gifts makes you feel aligned with who God created you to be, and it is contagious. Feeling passionate makes you even more passionate.

Difficult relationships drag you down. Problems in life require extra energy. It isn’t that you don’t have to deal with the problems that come up; you just learn how to deal with them in a different way that doesn’t absorb all your time and energy. You learn to live in spite of the fact that other people aren’t making good choices. You let go of the pain enough to let good things into your life.

By Karla Downing
 

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,

Help me to say “yes” to the things that are good for me, knowing that I need to take care of myself.

Relationship Devotional Challenge

• Think of one thing you will say yes to.

Scripture Meditation

 
Ephesians 5:29

“After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church” (NIV).