Christians often think that Christ-like behavior in their relationships is passivity; yet Jesus wasn’t passive, nor was he a pacifist. He was an aggressive activist. He was direct, confrontational, challenging, assertive, and at times extremely rude. He spoke so much truth that people wanted to kill him. He chose to go to the cross at the appointed time to fulfill his divine purpose, but before that, he left when people were trying to kill him and spoke up aggressively to defend himself.

This side of Jesus conflicts with the description of him as meek and gentle. Yet he described himself that way too: “Come unto me ….for I am gentle and humble in heart” (Matthew 11:28-29). Gentle means “mild, meek” and refers to one’s disposition. Humble means “humble in spirit” and suggests “low-lying.”

Putting these two sides of Jesus’ personality together suggests that he was strong but was able to harness his strength and keep it under control. He allowed himself to be aggressive and confrontational when necessary but was also able to be mild, welcoming, low-lying, humble, and gentle when it wasn’t necessary to be so assertive.

What does this mean for us in our relationships? It means that we can be strong and assertive in knowing what we believe and in making a stand for what is right. It also means that we need to have self-control to direct that strength appropriately and to be able to be gentle and mild when it isn’t necessary to be strongly assertive.

None of that is passive. Passivity has to do with inaction and weakness. When you are passive, you allow others to walk all over you; you don’t have opinions; you aren’t actively in control of your emotions and your actions, and you aren’t able to be assertive—you don’t really even want to try because you are willing to take what comes.

You can assertively and gently stand firm in your relationships for what you believe, what you need, what you will and won’t do, and what is right for you. When you do, you will be like Jesus.

By Karla Downing

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,

Help me to be able to be both assertive and gentle. Help me know my truth, believe it strongly, and then keep my strength under control.
 

Relationship Devotional Challenge

• What would it look like for you to be assertive and gentle in your relationships?

Scripture Meditation

 
Mark 1:22

“The people were amazed at his teaching, because he taught them as one who had authority” (NIV).

Matthew 11:28-30

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and loaded down with burdens, and I will give you rest. Place my yoke on you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is pleasant, and my burden is light” (NIV).