Christian Relationship Help: Improving Your Self-Esteem
What does improving self-esteem have to do with difficult relationships? Everything! People in difficult relationships often have a poor self-image. Many people in difficult relationships are tolerating mistreatment as a result of a lack of self respect. People who don’t respect themselves don’t expect others to treat them with respect and conversely, those who tolerate mistreatment in relationships develop disrespect for themselves. Improving self-esteem changes lives and relationships.
You receive many messages about who you are from other people that form your self-image and as a result, your past and present relationships and life experiences have shaped your image of yourself. For you to change the dynamics of your difficult relationships, you must be able to strengthen and improve your self-esteem and self-image and be able to stand firm in who you really are with dignity.
“Esteem” means “to estimate.” “Self-esteem” means you estimate your “self.” You assess your worth or value, you form opinions about yourself, you have feelings about yourself, and you form a self-image. It is critical that your estimation of yourself is accurate, although for most of us, it is not. We have distorted self-images comprised of damaged images, projected images, reflected images, stained images, and false images. These images need to be analyzed and adjusted to match God’s truth about us to accurately reflect who God made each of us to be. We need to see the “truth in the mirror.”
God created you as a unique being in his image. He valued you enough to send his Son to die for you. He values you and wants you to value yourself. Part of valuing yourself is to be able to embrace yourself for who you are and to feel good about your choices. Many Christians falsely believe that having good self-esteem is wrong. They believe we should focus on our unworthiness and the recognition that we are sinners and that anything we do good is the Holy Spirit in us and not something we can feel good abou. This negates the significance of personal choice. Even non-Christians do good things and make right choices. When we make choices that are good and accomplish something positive as a result, it is affirming to feel satisfaction.
Learn more about how you can improve your self-esteem and self-image in a way that not only pleases God, but changes your life and relationships.