Christians and Divorce: Help for the Hurting
Christians and divorce in a perfect world wouldn’t belong in the same sentence let alone in a lawyer’s office going through one themselves. Unfortunately, we aren’t in a perfect world; we are in a world full of sin and broken relationships and that sin affects our marriages-sometimes beyond repair.
If you are considering a divorce, you are in a difficult place. The church discourages divorce for almost every reason. This results in guilt and the decision to stay in some marriages that are destructive and toxic. On the other hand, divorce shouldn’t be an easy option for any reason at all. We should be committed to our partners, our families, our beliefs, and our vows. Yet, we also want to realistically recognize the problems that do exist in marriages even in the church among Christians.
If you are going through a divorce, you are in a lot of pain. You are dealing with a major life stressor and the resultant grief, adjustments, and emotions. On top of that you have to consider your children, your finances, your future,and the divorce proceedings while you are figuring out how to be a single person once again.
Have realistic expectations. Divorce takes time to heal. Give yourself grace, find supportive people who understand, and allow yourself to work through all the stages of grief.
If you are ministering to people in difficult marriages or those going through divorce, you need tools to help them and insight into the things Christians do that inadvertantly hurt rather than heal. One of these is to be judgmental of people going through divorce. Keep in mind that God divorced Israel for her unfaithfulness. Remember that you don’t really know what the person is going through. Most people in difficult relationships try hard for a long time to save their marriages. When they finally get to a point of filing for a divorce, it is usually because they have exhausted all possibilities for change and have no other option.
Here are some articles that will help you whether you are seeking a separation, considering whether or not to divorce, or going through a divorce.