We can be perfectionistic in different areas of our lives….

• Achievements (self or others)
• Relationships (no problems)
• Physical attributes/looks (self or others)
• Emotions (not show anything negative)
• Romance (fantasy)
• Intellect (should know everything)
• Choices (never make a mistake)

 
Perfectionism manifests in your own life toward yourself by the following….

• A fear of failure.
• A fear of making mistakes.
• Feeling shame when you make mistakes.
• Extreme self-criticism.
• Not ever feeling good enough.
• Pursuit of self-worth through achievements.
• Feeling you have to achieve in order to be loved by God and others.

 
Perfectionism manifests itself in relationships by….

• Discontentment with other people
• Hypercriticism
• Shaming their mistakes
• A push for others to achieve
• Conditional love and acceptance

 
When you fail or fall short of your expectations, do you….

• Beat yourself up in your mind with negative self-talk.
• Punish yourself in other ways.
• Just try harder next time.
• Put yourself down in front of other people.
• Feel embarrassed, guilty, or ashamed
• Figure out how not to let it happen again by replaying the mistake and trying to figure out how it happened this time.
• Fear the response of other people when they find out.
• Wonder what others will think of you.
• Try to hide your error.
• Blame it on someone else.

 
When others fall short of your expectations, do you….

• Beat them up in your mind.
• Punish them.
• Put them down in front of others.
• Feel embarrassed or ashamed of them as if it were a reflection of you.
• Help them figure out how not to let it happen again.
• Fear the response of other people
• Wonder what people will think of you or them
• Try to cover up their error
• Blame it on yourself, them, or someone else.

Perfectionism’s root is pride. Pride in myself by the belief that I am good enough to not make mistakes. Pride in wanting others to think well of me.
 
Perfectionists….

• Have trouble with acceptance and detachment because they expect too much from themselves and others.
• Make big deals of little deals.
• Don’t try for fear of failure.
• Guard themselves emotionally and have trouble being vulnerable, real, and spontaneous with people
• Are easily disillusioned and disappointed
• Have trouble trusting God

 
How can you overcome perfectionism? Practice “Progress, not perfection.”

• Recognize your sin nature is still at work within you (Romans 7:18-20).
• Let doing your best be good enough (Colossians 3:23).
• Be willing to be vulnerable and transparent with others and allow others to see your weaknesses (Galatians 5:16).
• Identify the areas that your self-image needs to be perfect in. Adjust your expectations (Proverbs 16:18).
• Accept that you won’t please everyone, especially the unpleasables.
• Practice acceptance and surrender.
• Surrender your reputation to God.
• Practice acceptance of others (Romans 15:7)
• Give yourself and others credit for progress and accept that there will be times you don’t do well (Romans 15:1).
• Practice unconditional love of yourself and others (Matthew 2:38).
• Watch your self-talk.
• Remember the slogans: “How important is it,” “Give it a light touch,” and “Progress not perfection.”
• Look at your mistakes as “missed takes” and an opportunity for growth.
• Make amends if you need to.
• Make your focus on pleasing God not men. If it is good enough for God, who are you to say it’s not? (Galatians 1:10, 2 Corinthians 5:9).

 
And remember-Mistakes are human: We make mistakes, but we are not mistakes.