Christian Relationship Advice When Help is Needed

Enter God’s Rest

There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God;
for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God
did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest.

Hebrews 4:9-11a (NIV)

hands-surrenderDo you wonder how to let go and enter God’s rest? Do you even know what rest is? Rest is ceasing from activity; an experience of peace, ease, refreshment; freedom from disquiet; and a sense of mental or emotional tranquility.

Jesus asks you, “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly” (Matthew 11:28-30, The Message Bible).

Do you answer, “I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil” (Job 3:26, NIV)? Yes, difficult relationships are filled with turmoil and heaviness, and it is normal to struggle with the following questions:

  • How do you manage your hopes, dreams, and desires?
  • How do you live with realistic hope?
  • How do you handle disappointment?
  • How do you maintain an eternal perspective?

One of the main sources of unrest in difficult relationships is the refusal to accept the realities of the situation. Because they are so painful and undesired, there is a tendency to waste precious energy wishing things were different and refusing to fully believe they are what they are. You need to learn how to accept the things in your life that you don’t want to accept and then discover what to do with them once you accept them.

Acceptance is thought to mean tolerance and approval of the things that truly are unacceptable. It isn’t tolerance. It is simply acknowledging reality so you can move forward. The secret to entering God’s rest is in surrendering to him the things you would like to change but cannot change.

You can change yourself, but you can’t change other people. You can set boundaries, but you can’t make people do what you want. You can nurture yourself, but you can’t make others do what is good for themselves. You can face your fears, but you can’t make others stop doing the things that make you afraid. You can speak your truth in love, but you can’t make others listen. You can forgive, but you can’t make others acknowledge what they did to hurt you. You can live your life, but you can’t live others’ lives for them.

So, after you have done everything you know to do, you have to learn how to surrender those dreams, hopes, and desires to God—on a daily basis.

This Relationship-Changing Principle will teach you the secrets to truly surrendering the things you cannot change. This will enable you to enter God’s rest, no matter what is going on in your difficult relationship. Learn how you can apply this Christian relationship help to your life today!

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