Most of us have times when we are angry and show the person by not talking with our normal enthusiasm. The difference with a silent treatment is that it completely disregards the person and goes on for days, months, and even years. Other than the times when it is obvious we are pouting, silent treatments are abuse.

Silent treatments are characterized by:

• Refusing to talk or acknowledge that another person is there.
• Refusing to answer when spoken to.
• Refusing to touch a person by pulling away when someone reaches out or comes near.
• Refusing to do what one would have done such as bringing a person to a party, watching a show together, helping with a project, or sitting down to eat together.
• Being quiet and withdrawn when one would otherwise be talkative and interactive.
• Refusing to reach out to make contact or respond when reached out to.

 
Silent treatments are painful to endure. It is hard to know how to act when someone refuses to acknowledge you exist, but you need to figure it out.
You can respond in whatever way is best for you. You need to take care of yourself.

Here are some options for how you can respond:

• Scream, yell, and rant. Slam doors and drawers to let the person know you are angry at how you are being treated. (I doubt you will feel this was good for you after you are done.)
• Cry and beg the person to talk to you.
• Act normal and go about your life.
• Interact as you would normally.
• Set a boundary. Make decisions about what you will do during the silent treatment such as leaving the house until it is over and making decisions by yourself without trying to engage the person refusing to talk to you.

 
Silent treatments are difficult to endure. The first decision you must make is how to respond to them while they are happening. The second is to make bigger decisions about the relationship.
 

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,
 
I know you value respect in relationships and silent treatments are disrespectful. Help me respectfully handle myself during the silent treatment and then make decisions that respect myself in the future.
 

Relationship Devotional Challenge

• If you are in a relationship with someone who gives silent treatments, look over the list of how to respond, and decide what is best for you in the future.
• If you give silent treatments, even if it is not to talk to someone when you are pouting, stop doing that and instead, let the person know you are upset and will talk about it when you calm down.

Scripture Meditation

 
1 John 4:18 (NIV)

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Proverbs 17:28 (NIV)

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.

Proverbs 26:4-5 (NIV)

Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes.