Learning how to detach will change your life and relationships. It will enable you to let go of your compulsion to force others to do and be different and allow you to focus on becoming the person you want to be. “Detachment” is simply recognizing that you and your loved ones are separate individuals with the right and responsibility to live your own lives—no matter how closely intertwined you are.

This woman has learned to put detachment into practice in her life. Here are some of the benefits she reports:

• Detachment means I can be loving and respectful, but let go of the things that are not mine to handle such as my husband’s choice to drink or not. The days when I used to pace in front of the window or stay up until he gets home are gone. I don’t track him during the day or call him when he should be leaving the office.

• Detachment means I don’t need to attend every single argument I am invited to. I can kindly busy myself doing something else or even remove myself from the situation or area without engaging or commenting on something. That doesn’t mean storming out of the room; it means graciously making another choice.

• Detachment is loving myself enough to realize I don’t need to control, criticize, or convict anyone else; it is loving the other person enough to realize that he/she has the right to choose how to live life.

• Detachment means I don’t need to point out my husband’s wrongs unless they are truly putting my life in jeopardy. He’s pretty aware of his wrongs, as I am of mine, so I can allow him the dignity to deal with them however he decides, and not take them personally.

• Detachment means I am not constantly worrying about what others are thinking because that is none of my business. I can give my mind a rest!

• Detachment means I don’t need to feel responsible when my husband fails at something and I don’t need to figure out how he can fix it.

• Detachment can be taking a walk with the dog—alone—and leaving my cell phone at home. It allows me to truly leave my troubling thoughts at home and spend time with God.

• Detachment is a valuable lesson that my kids see me practicing, as long as it is done with love. By stepping away from something I have no control over, I will help them to identify healthy ways of coping in their own lives.

As you can see, detachment can radically change your life and relationships!

By Karla Downing

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,

Help me detach from what other people are doing even though our lives are intertwined. Give me the ability to separate myself from my loved ones so I can live my own life to the fullest.

Relationship Devotional Challenge

• Identify two ways you can apply loving detachment to your difficult relationships.
• Purpose to put the loving detachment into practice the next time you are tempted to get overly involved.

Scripture Meditation

 
John 10:10

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (NIV).

Romans 12:18

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (NIV).