Positive thinking as opposed to negative thinking is a good thing, but as this woman’s question illustrates, there needs to be a balanced approach that allows people to be real.

I have a friend who says life is all about attitude. She is always positive, but the truth is that her life is great and she’s also a very easy going person. When I try to share concerns, fears, and frustrations about my dysfunctional family problems, she cuts me off and tells me to think positively. I do try, but it isn’t that easy for me. I have always been prone to anxiety so my difficult family situations aren’t all that easy for me to let go of. When she tells me I should have a positive attitude, I feel bad about myself and scold myself for being so negative which only adds to my pessimistic outlook! Should I be more positive by not bringing up anything negative about my life and only thinking about the good things?

It is obviously easier for a person to be positive when their life is free of major troubles; yet, some people manage to be upbeat even when they have problems. Personality makes it easier for some people to be optimistic, while others find it more natural to be cynical. I am very analytical so I am always thinking of ways to make things better which makes me sound somewhat negative when I am simply analyzing. When my husband is positive, it sounds simple to me because he doesn’t look at all angles.

The first priority for each of us is to be real. This woman does have stress and difficulties and she struggles with anxiety. Sometimes a person telling you to be positive just doesn’t know what to say to your dilemmas. It is healthy to talk truthfully about your life circumstances and your feelings about them. Stuffing feelings, pretending things are okay when they are not, and pasting a smile on your face isn’t healthy. She is fearful and can be real about that too.

Yet, dwelling on the negative to the exclusion of the positive is a choice. There are always positives to be gleaned in any situation: God uses everything for our good, his glory, and for us to comfort others with the comfort we receive. Our faith grows in trials. There is always someone worse off than us. God shows up in little and big ways in our lives no matter what is going on. God is working in our lives and others’ lives in ways we do not know. This life is only temporary. Keeping an eye open for the good things has an effect on us—when we look for them, we find them and our attitude changes which in turn make our burden feel lighter. Positive thinking has its place alongside being real about our struggles.

By Karla Downing

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,

Help me to balance being real and being positive. Help me see the good in difficult circumstances from your perspective.
 

Relationship Devotional Challenge

• Practice maintaining a positive attitude while being real about your struggles.

Scripture Meditation

 
2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 16-18

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (NIV).

The Apostle Paul was truthful about his struggles while thinking positively.