Many of us are frustrated with praying for our difficult relationships and the difficult people in our lives. We have prayed for years, asking God to answer and wondering why he hasn’t done so. We have poured out our hearts to God, described our suffering, suggested changes he should make, and explained why he should do so. We ask only for reasonable changes—healthy changes—that we know God supports.

At some point, we grow weary and lose faith—in God, in ourselves, and in the hope of any change. When people remind us to keep praying, we nod, we agree, but then we wonder what to pray for since it hasn’t worked to this point.

We are commanded to pray—always—for everything. What we need to know is what to pray for. Maybe we should pray less for specific things God needs to change in the difficult people and more for something else we really need.
We need to pray for wisdom and discernment. Difficult relationships and people present many complicated dilemmas. We need to know how to act and react. God doesn’t force people to change, which is the main reason our prayers go unanswered. Unless the person responds to the Holy Spirit’s conviction, no change will happen.

“Discernment” is the ability to judge well. It is based on accurate perceptions and correct understanding of the situation. “Wisdom” is the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment. We all need the ability to understand our difficult relationships so we can make right judgements and wise decisions about how to act and react.

You will have to search for wisdom. You will need to read information about the difficulties you are dealing with. You may need to consult with wise people to get direction. You will need to learn biblical principles that you can apply to various dilemmas. God promises to give you wisdom when you ask for it and search for it with all your heart. That is the guaranteed way to bring change into your life and relationships.

By Karla Downing
 

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,

Help me to pray for discernment and wisdom in my difficult relationships. Help me to do whatever it takes to become wise and discerning.
 

Relationship Devotional Challenge

• Stop praying for God to change people, and start asking him to give you discernment and wisdom so you can act and react differently.

Scripture Meditation

 
James 1:5-8

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do (NIV).