“Scolding” means to reprimand or criticize harshly. It is usually done with anger and often publicly. When you “scold” someone, you let out your anger with your words. It is a tongue lashing instead of a physical lashing.

When Jesus was at Simon’s home, a woman came in with an expensive alabaster vial of perfume and she poured it on Jesus’ head. Those who saw it were outraged and they began to scold her for the waste of the expensive perfume. They loudly disapproved and openly rebuked and reprimanded her. The Greek word from which “scolding” was translated literally means to “snort with anger.” People used it to describe the snorting of a horse. A horse rears back its head, flares its nostrils, gets a crazy look in its eyes, and makes a loud snort to demonstrate its irritation.

When you are upset over something someone has or hasn’t done and you feel angry and outraged, you want to express your indignation to the person to let them know how upset you are. When you let your emotions loose, you will verbally vomit them onto the person by scolding them with whatever words come into your mind. The words will be full of vitriol, sarcasm, ridicule, and criticism. You will go on way longer than is necessary to get your point across. Your words will hurt, wound, and tear.

No matter how upset you are, it is still your responsibility to contain your emotions with self-control and to carefully express yourself by censuring your words. Rather than scolding, take responsibility for what is bothering you. Tell the person what you need and allow the person to choose how to respond. Scolding doesn’t heal, it wounds. It doesn’t feel good afterward to you or the other person because it isn’t the right thing to do.

Whether it is an adult or child you are dealing with, don’t scold. Instead, before you speak, contain your emotions, direct your thoughts, and choose your words to speak truth in a way that respects the dignity of the person and aligns with your values.

By Karla Downing

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,

Help me to use self-control when expressing my disapproval of someone’s actions. Help me not to scold because scolding doesn’t respect the other person, reflect who you are, or reflect who I want to be. Help me to edify and offer grace with my words, even when I am expressing my indignation.

Relationship Devotional Challenge

•  Don’t use scolding to express your indignation.
•  Before you express disapproval to someone, contain your emotions, direct your thoughts, and choose your words wisely.

Scripture Meditation

 
Ephesians 4:29

“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear” (NASB)

Mark 14:3-9

“While He was in Bethany at the home of Simon the leper, and reclining at the table, there came a woman with an alabaster vial of very costly perfume of pure nard; and she broke the vial and poured it over His head. But some were indignantly remarking to one another, ‘Why has this perfume been wasted?

For this perfume might have been sold for over three hundred denarii, and the money given to the poor.’ And they were scolding her. But Jesus said, ‘Let her alone; why do you bother her? She has done a good deed to Me. For you always have the poor with you, and whenever you wish you can do good to them; but you do not always have Me. She has done what she could; she has anointed My body beforehand for the burial. Truly I say to you, wherever the gospel is preached in the whole world, what this woman has done will also be spoken of in memory of her’” (NASB).