My friend’s husband once lost his job. They had six children and no money in the bank. When she told me, I said, “You must be worried.” She responded, “Thank you! I am so tired of people telling me that everything works for good.”

Toxic positivity is the belief that no matter how bad or hard a situation is, you should stay positive. While being optimistic is beneficial, toxic positivity allows only positive emotions, even when they are a false façade and end up causing harm.

Life isn’t always positive. We all have painful experiences with painful emotions. Even though some emotions aren’t positive and happy, they are real and need to be felt, acknowledged, and dealt with.

Christians do it without realizing it by focusing on a few Bible verses and over-generalizing them. Toxic positivity isn’t just a religious or Christian thing. It is also a part of some people’s personalities or philosophies.

Here are some of the ways it is presented:

• Everything happens for a reason and all things work together for your good and God’s glory (Romans 8:28).
• Give thanks in every situation, for this is God’s will for you, so be happy about it (Philippians 4:6).
• Trials teach you patience and perseverance, so endure them willingly and happily (1 Peter 4:12).
• Be content in every circumstance, no matter what it is (Philippians 4:11).
• Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, plus count it all joy when you are persecuted (Matthew 5:44).
• Endure hardship as a good soldier (Hebrews 12:7).
• Trust in the Lord with all your heart and don’t question your circumstances (Proverbs 3:5–6).

 
The inference is that you should not admit that the circumstance is hard and painful nor be honest about your struggles. I don’t believe that is what God intended because God wants us to be honest about our situations.

Here is how I know that:

• We are told to lift up those who are weak and need encouragement.
• We are made in God’s image, so all emotions we feel are ones God feels, and that means none are forbidden or “bad.”
• David, a man after God’s own heart, admitted to feeling angry, depressed, confused, abandoned, revengeful, hopeless, afraid, and unhappy.
• The Apostle Paul admitted to being in need and learning how to be content anyway, but he didn’t say not to admit to being in a state of need.
• Mourning over death is a part of all cultures and is not condemned by God. Romans 12:15 tells us to mourn with those who mourn.
• Jesus encouraged those who are weary to come to him for rest (Matthew 11:28–30). How would you know to come if you didn’t first admit you were exhausted?
• We should be grateful and trust God when life is difficult; however, this doesn’t prevent us from being honest about how we feel and how things affect us.

 
We can be honest and transparent with each other about our feelings, weaknesses, and struggles. We can be empathetic with people who are hurting. This will bring all of us closer together, support those who need encouragement, and show the world that our religion is real.

It’s important to be aware of your feelings because they show you how people and circumstances affect you. Ignoring them isn’t healthy. Refuse to give in to the pressure to portray toxic positivity you don’t feel.
 

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,
 
Help me to be honest with you and others about how I feel. Help me not to feel guilty about being human and hurting. Help me to choose responses that bring me closer to you and reflect my faith.
 

Relationship Devotional Challenge

• Be honest with yourself, God, and others about your feelings.
• Recognize that it’s okay to feel more than one emotion and have more than one thought about something.
• Recognize when you feel shamed by toxic positivity and counter it with the truth.
• Respond with gratitude, faith, and trust while being honest about your experiences.

 
Give yourself permission to feel what you feel and think what you think without covering it up with toxic positivity.
 

Scripture Meditation

 
Galatians 5:16

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

“Sins” could also be translated as “weaknesses.”

Psalm 56:3–4

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise—in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?

Romans 12:15

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

Philippians 4:14–16

Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles. Moreover, as you Philippians know, in the early days of your acquaintance with the gospel, when I set out from Macedonia, not one church shared with me in the matter of giving and receiving, except you only; for even when I was in Thessalonica, you sent me aid more than once when I was in need.

2 Corinthians 1:8–11

We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.